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Your Turn – Traumatic Evil, Pocket Change of Tyrants

Pain by Jade R

Mesh Medical Device News Desk, March 20, 2017 ~ The following essay was written by a mesh-injured woman. She is looking forward to an upcoming trip where she will sit on a beach and contemplate her present and her future.

These words represent her opinion.  She prefers to stay anonymous.


Traumatic Evil, Pocket Change of Tyrants

“Implanting a vaginal medical device without consent is an invasive event of traumatic evil. We were all victimized, and we all are suffering.We are broken and wounded victims. Rape is a crime of power, domination, and control we all were surgically raped. I am going to sit on the beach this week and bottle my tears, send them out into the ocean with God.

My work is done.

Maybe one day I will read they are all out of business. My heart can bear no more. Do not let go of this one hope.

What we are doing may save our children and grandchildren. Compensation will not change the horror nor will it end the implanting of patients with plastic. Knowledge will stop them. I personally have to walk away.

The filth of the spirits who implant and the legal professionals who defend and the legal leeches who drain money from victims; is more knowledge than I every wanted.

I shield my sorrow in knowing my daughter will not be a victim. This is all I walk away with, the protection of my child.

Others may pursue the pocket change of these tyrants, I will not. I will stick my toes in the sand and weep one more time for all I have lost. Then I must hold on to what is left of me. In these last days of my research I made a new friend, she is a criminal investigator, she focuses on the crime of rape. When you have been in a room with a monster you never forget. 

I shared my story with a friend Friday after my last conversation with the attorney.

As I mentioned the name of the implanting surgeon, she responded, “In 1997 his father gave me an unnecessary hysterectomy and I could have no more children.”

In that moment I knew there are two monsters who had harmed me and my friend.

On March 29th I will look up at the stars in the Gulf of Mexico and know God is listening to the sound of my tears spilling into the ocean, unleashing the pain of 13 years. I will come home, different. Poured out upon the sands of life, with only one mission to pray for others who have been wounded by monsters.

Surgical rape is a life-changing event. A violent assault awakens some of the most painful, horrifying emotions that humans are capable of. Terror, shock, unbearable pain, overwhelming helplessness, and vulnerability are just some of the feelings I have experience. These are powerful feelings that don’t just go away. Instead they affect every area of your life. I am 57, implanted for 13 years. Do not let yourself or your family become implanted with surgical mesh.

Prolift explant

My friend taught me I was stronger than the monster

You might have heard that your identity should be that of a survivor instead of a victim. But “survivor” only means you’ve outlived something. If your ship goes down and you are rescued, then you survived the shipwreck. When your identity is that of a survivor, you are still defined by what happened to you.

What happened to you—the hateful thing that took place—still dominates your identity.

I cannot live that way. It’s no accident that people who come to terms with an evil like this often become clear-minded about the way forward.The way forward is one step at a time.

Living after overcoming evil is more than survival.

It is a necessity to live stronger than the monster.”


  1. Still Standing says:

    That is the single most powerful thing I have ever read on this site or anywhere for that matter. May you be abuntantly blessed on you way forward. Yes, you are more than a survivor. Thank you for sharing such a poignant, bittersweet and haunting narrative.

    • Patient Advocate says:

      Evil does not win if we move on. Caldera victims are tossed the pocket change of tyrants. You cannot westle a muddy pig and the attorneys have made this a mud fight. Roses grow among thorns. Thank you for your support. Be as well as you can.

  2. Kitty says:

    I didn’t see power in this post. I see resignation. The evil has defeated u. Go and get some rest ..regroup and come back to receive what u deserve. I am so angry at the arrogance if hippocrits.

  3. Patient Advocate says:

    Resting will not change the loss. Their is no regrouping after tyrants not only toss pocket change when the Judge approves the tossing of pocket change. It is not resignation it is simply the walking away from the myth. The Myth: Justice prevails, and we get what we deserve. We do not. We will not. All mesh settlements will end by the end of this year, 2017. Futures will not hold fair compensation. Gathering broken glass from the sands of sorrow is always admirable effort. I gathered my truth, I hope you fare better. I hope many fare better than Caldera Medical, Inc. wounded victims. The power in what I wrote was intended to be the power of the future, laced in the truth that I am stronger than the monster. Tonight I wrote this because victory just came out of surgery in Arizona. My brother had emergency hernia surgery, because of his wife and I being mesh survivors, two surgical emergencies hernia repairs were done WITH NO MESH. This is the fight I won. We, the consumer can demand NO MESH.

  4. Patient Advocate says:

    I always try to leave power of the story behind, here is the victory of my journey. Tonight in Arizona my brother, did not get implanted with mesh because of my knowledge and his wife’s knowledge as we are mesh injured. She advocated for emergency hernia repair without mesh. As a Caldera Medical, Inc. implant victim there is no compensation to obtain. There will be no just settlement. I am not defeated, surgical mesh harm knowledge saved a family member today. One on One advocacy is where I reside now. Evil did not when, he will not live one day with MESH, even though I will live the rest of my life with it. God bless you I hope you obtain fair compensation for your injuries. The only thing the Evil did to me is teach me the horror of mesh so I could save my friends and family in the future from it.

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