Pain by Jade R

Mesh Medical Device News Desk, March 20, 2017 ~ The following essay was written by a mesh-injured woman. She is looking forward to an upcoming trip where she will sit on a beach and contemplate her present and her future.

These words represent her opinion.  She prefers to stay anonymous.

 

Traumatic Evil, Pocket Change of Tyrants

“Implanting a vaginal medical device without consent is an invasive event of traumatic evil. We were all victimized, and we all are suffering.We are broken and wounded victims. Rape is a crime of power, domination, and control we all were surgically raped. I am going to sit on the beach this week and bottle my tears, send them out into the ocean with God.

My work is done.

Maybe one day I will read they are all out of business. My heart can bear no more. Do not let go of this one hope.

What we are doing may save our children and grandchildren. Compensation will not change the horror nor will it end the implanting of patients with plastic. Knowledge will stop them. I personally have to walk away.

The filth of the spirits who implant and the legal professionals who defend and the legal leeches who drain money from victims; is more knowledge than I every wanted.

I shield my sorrow in knowing my daughter will not be a victim. This is all I walk away with, the protection of my child.

Others may pursue the pocket change of these tyrants, I will not. I will stick my toes in the sand and weep one more time for all I have lost. Then I must hold on to what is left of me. In these last days of my research I made a new friend, she is a criminal investigator, she focuses on the crime of rape. When you have been in a room with a monster you never forget. 

I shared my story with a friend Friday after my last conversation with the attorney.

As I mentioned the name of the implanting surgeon, she responded, “In 1997 his father gave me an unnecessary hysterectomy and I could have no more children.”

In that moment I knew there are two monsters who had harmed me and my friend.

On March 29th I will look up at the stars in the Gulf of Mexico and know God is listening to the sound of my tears spilling into the ocean, unleashing the pain of 13 years. I will come home, different. Poured out upon the sands of life, with only one mission to pray for others who have been wounded by monsters.

Surgical rape is a life-changing event. A violent assault awakens some of the most painful, horrifying emotions that humans are capable of. Terror, shock, unbearable pain, overwhelming helplessness, and vulnerability are just some of the feelings I have experience. These are powerful feelings that don’t just go away. Instead they affect every area of your life. I am 57, implanted for 13 years. Do not let yourself or your family become implanted with surgical mesh.

Prolift explant

My friend taught me I was stronger than the monster

You might have heard that your identity should be that of a survivor instead of a victim. But “survivor” only means you’ve outlived something. If your ship goes down and you are rescued, then you survived the shipwreck. When your identity is that of a survivor, you are still defined by what happened to you.

What happened to you—the hateful thing that took place—still dominates your identity.

I cannot live that way. It’s no accident that people who come to terms with an evil like this often become clear-minded about the way forward.The way forward is one step at a time.

Living after overcoming evil is more than survival.

It is a necessity to live stronger than the monster.”