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Transvaginal Mesh: Stories of Anger

Woman statue resizedMarch 18, 2013, by Jane Akre ~ Recently a doctor commented about mesh-injured women by saying “These are angry women.

I was taken aback. You trust your doctor. The doctor sells you on a minimally invasive procedure that will “fix you right up.”  Some women were told nothing – no consultation, no discussion on complications, the lack of long-term studies or the impossibility of removing mesh after it’s implanted in your deepest place.

These are angry women.

Many doctors turn their back on women saying they’ve “never seen this before,” or they offer some antidepressants because the problem, after all, must be in your head.  Of course these women are angry. Anyone with a remote sense of justice would be and a doctor who deals with these women everyday should have some understanding of that, one would hope.

His words sparked this dialogue from a few “angry women.

Ah, the anger stories. Mine stems from the very doctors who installed my mesh who refused to believe or admit it was causing the problems. It seems like that’s where many of us had the most frustration. Every time I think I’ve got a handle on the anger, something will stir the pot again. Like most I’m a work in progress.”“I will never trust or believe any doctor without researching it myself online. I am still amazed that doctors lie. If they don’t know, they should refer it out.”

 ≈

“I think mesh injured people go through Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s “Stages of Death and Dying”, like others with cancer or other serious chronic illnesses.  It’s a loss of health, womanhood, sex and intimacy for some, active lifestyle, jobs and insurance, etc and development of pain and other uncomfortable symptoms.  It’s normal to vacillate between grief, anger, bargaining with God, depression, and finally, hopefully, acceptance.

As one of my mesh friends says, “Find peace in the place you are in.”

“We joke that we are a small village of women who do this.  It takes a village and thank God we’ve established one. We need our own zip code. We do need a convalescent place for women to stay and have a little counseling.  Counseling would actually be simple.  They just need love and validation.  Most of us were able to fly home soon and xx had a son near there, but even she had to stay for awhile because some of these surgeries, including hers are very serious.  We could work with the surgeons who know who needs to stay longer.   I know L.A. is expensive, but we need it near there so that women do not make that long flight home too soon, nor too long a drive when they get out of hospital.   I know it is only a dream but it needs to happen.”

One woman writes after being sick and losing her job:

Needless to say, I was completely, totally, and absolutely in shock and I’m certain that it contributed to the “clinical depression and PTSD- both health and work related” diagnosis that I ended up with…..So that’s my thoughts on anger at the medical system….  The anger used to ooze from my every pore but I realized that I was only hurting myself more by letting that happen.  Yoga (and being/living in the “here and now”) helps A LOT!”

“Walking is my salvation. I also just came off a 5-day water fast which helped not only my anal fissure but my mind set. I plan on doing a 20-day juice cleanse this summer. For me it not only clears my body but also my mind.”

“Yes, I guess we ARE angry women. When I was in my worst pain and could barely walk I was crossing in a crosswalk while a car impatiently waited. I faced the car with arms opened and yelled “Go ahead make my day!” At that point I would have welcomed a speedy demise. I don’t know what the driver thought, but that sticks in my mind as one of my lowest points.”

“Yes, the anger was affecting my marriage too b/c I was constantly taking it out on my poor husband…  In a weird way, I was trying to push him away b/c I no longer felt “worthy” as a wife, woman, mother, partner….That’s when I started seeing xx, a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC), also a nurse before going into mental health.  I just needed someone, not family, that I could cry, ventilate with, get all my feelings sorted through…  Betrayal, anger, sadness, loss of self, job, activity level, sex life, peers at work, anxiety…She helped me SO much!  Without the drugs that I didn’t want.”

“I agree with you- that’s one of the biggest things that mesh-harmed ladies (and men) need is to talk, talk, talk, be heard (after being denied again and again by medical professionals and even their own families), talk more, and know that someone is listening, believing them, and that they are being heard.”

“I agree xx…I was angry at my doctor, for letting me suffer for months, denying it was the mesh, then the first surgeon who agreed it was the mesh and couldn’t find it, when I asked her for a referral to UCLA, emailed me back that was nothing more she could do for me physically! This was after I told her the infectious disease doctor told me I could DIE….what happened to the oath, “Do no harm”? I sent her the angriest email I have ever written.”

“But it is all about the money/insurance…a life is last consideration, if any at all. I thought I had released this anger against Doctors, till I wrote this email. I am still angry, healthy and healed, but angry that there are still hurt women that can’t get help.”

“My husband bottled it all up. He was more panicky than angry, trying to get my meds, being there to support me, etc.  I don’t think he felt the anger, because he didn’t feel the pain. For example, your friend can have cancer, but you really can’t relate, because you have never had cancer. You can be there for her as a support, but you feel more like crying for her than anger.”

“Much of my extreme anger at my doctors, hospital, anesthesia group, peers that I thought were “friends” that weren’t there for me after I was no longer working, healthcare in general, and later on the FDA and Big Pharma, ended up inadvertently being taken out on my husband.  I was literally oozing anger to the point where it made me mad to see other people smiling and “happy”.  I’d NEVER been that way my whole life- how very sad!”

“I kept (consciously and subconsciously) trying to drive my husband away because I felt like he was too good of a man to be saddled with a “ruined” wife like I had become, physically and emotionally.  I thank God every day that my husband didn’t give up on me or our marriage like I wanted him to.  A testament to a wonderful man!”

“I try to NOT think back on what I went through at all, because it definitely makes me angry.  When I think of everything I and others have endured…  And for what?  So some stupid big company can line it’s pockets with money from the pain and tears and suffering of so many women!  When I think of my Internet mesh nurse friend who didn’t make it through her mesh insertion and removal complications, it makes me sad and very angry.  That’s why I’m still around.  My anger pushes me to help others out of their horrific situations.  All I have to do is remember how I felt when I was in so much pain, so alone, being tortured, nobody understanding, and it propels me to action to get others out of that same, awful situation.”

“I was reading all your anger stories this morning and yes we could all write a book about anger.  You could say I have keyboard anger.  I used my keyboard with the doctor who put it in me and then said “I was the only one”.  However, xx met a woman out in the waiting room while she waited for me each week to try to pee for two hours.  That lady gave me my first clue that it wasn’t just me and we are still friends.  She almost died the end of 2010 when she had partial removal in Houston and he clipped a vein.  Eight hours later and the loss of 70% of the blood in her body and she barely lived.”

“If you were to put us four into a room together it would be an explosion of anger.  Dr Phil ain’t heard nothing yet!  It’s a bit crazy but most of my anger is now at the injustice of what happens to all the women out there who cannot get help at all and they suffer in bed.  Their kids don’t give a shit about them.  The stuff I know could fill volumes of what is wrong with the world today.

“So yes I have a lot of anger issues which I suppress and actually switch to other women’s pain.  Gotta do something with it.”

“i AM DOING NOTHING BUT GETTING WEAKER . i HAVE NO CONTROL OVER BOWELS OR BLADDER AT ALL ANY MORE, SO GETTING THINGS HAVE GOOTEN WORSE SINCE NOVEMBER AFTER SURGERY. LAST YEAR.”

“ i do not understand , no doc. has even talked to me at all. but a self examination, the mesh is still protruding out , and infections still going on. . I AM DYING ANY WAY SO WHY WON’T THEY SHOW MERCY AND LET ME BE PUT TO SLEEP. STOP MY HEART, . I do not want to die alone here. I TOLD MY DAUGHTER SINCE i was used as a guinea pig, and will be as long as I LIVE, WHEN i DIE, GIVE MEDICAL RESEARCH MY BODY , SINCE THEY DESTROYED MY LIFE  WITH THIS IMPLANT AND DOCS LIED.

“THE YOUNGER WOMEN MIGHT BE STRONGER THAN i AM, THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THIS , MAYBE THEY HAVE GOT HELP.”

“All I could think about is that I did not want you to give up and die.  I did not want you to die alone in a world that has been cruel to you.  I had to do something but I was not sure what to do.  As I lay there I remembered another young woman who is suffering from mesh. When I spoke to her over the phone, she was a compassionate and caring young woman even as she deals with her own health issues.  I knew she would try to help you.

“At this point I am not sure what she can do to get the ball rolling but I spoke to her this morning and she is going to work on it.  You see, we are all women helping women.  You are right when you told me that the world does not care about mesh issues.  You are right when you spoke of the cruelty of doctors who do not seen compassionate for women like us.  But regardless of your anger, you must accept the care and help you are given.  You need someone to care about you and you cannot continue to be alone at this time.

“We, the small village of women who do this care very deeply about what happens to other women in this situation.”

“The problem with anger is that we do need treatment.  xx admits she needs mental health but they have no insurance and no money.  So how do you find the money when you have to keep a roof over your family’s head and raise children?  Women have been so screwed up physically and mentally that they back away from the medical profession altogether, even when they are seriously injured and dying.  The anger really gets in the way and we no longer trust anyone.  We probably do need Dr. Phil and yet we would be hostile even to him.  He is a man.  How could he possibly understand the destruction of our organs and genitals?  We are all defined by sexuality and it is a very sensitive issue, regardless of age.”

“When I spoke to xx yesterday, the woman is so filled with anger because she told me when she reached to find out what was done in the partial removal surgery, she said she no longer feels like a woman because something is missing.  She said she has a hollow area from where she was once a woman.  I have heard that many times before.  It isn’t that she is wanting sex.  It isn’t that she is washed up either.  It is because she feels they mutilated her body and never explained why.

“She said she exploded one time in the doctor’s office.  That explosion of course has put her on the crazy list.  We know what the explosion was about.  They lie and betray us, then ignore us.  She said they told her they were going to remove it all.  Then afterwards she said they told her it was impossible to remove it all.  It is since that surgery that the infections took over.  She said up until that point, she could still do things.”

“I am cussin and swearing!!!! over 30 years ago the put threads of PP into rats to test rates of degradation!!! could they not see the value of putting a filament into a prospective implant patient to test biocompatibility? bastards @#$%^&^%#!!! Subcutaneous implants of polypropylene fi… [J Biomed Mater Res. 1976] – PubMed – NCBI,   http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/993229

Please Share your stories of anger here!  Thank you.

71 Comments

  1. Would love to have one of your writers write a guest post for our blog. I wrote about this issue once, but it needs much more coverage. We could help spread the word. We cover patient stories too. Here’s the post I wrote a several months ago. http://www.hormonesmatter.com/women-fda/

    Please let me know and keep up the fight. Thanks.

  2. TrudyThomas says:

    Wow. ! My heart and prayers go to everyone.

  3. tammy says:

    As I lay here in bed because Im so sick from the oral, iv contrast I was giving earlier in the day for a pelvic CT scan. It was ordered for a follow up test because of the 6 inch perirectal abcsess that was drained recently. There was no bacteria found nor did it grow any., Totallaly a foreign body reaction. That was the worst thing I could have heard! this had been an 8 year nightmare that keeps me sucked in on every level of my being. Every time my mesh presents me with another surprize, I become less of a me. Little by little month by month year by year by the end of my natural life I wont even know what I use to be about. How I loved my grandbabies, and my lovely son and daughter, husband, my art ,the beautiful people I called my friends. The mesh that was suppose to inhance my life, but it has been taken all away, from whom I love and the things that make happy, my art ,being creative. Even my spritaul walk has been affeccted by the injustice of such a balbarric practice of mutilating a womens most inter parts. This area of a women is so sacred, Your babies lived in there 9 months. Even her husband hold her body as a sacred place HIS sacred place . At 45 that no longer would be, the 34 year annv. would ever experiecne what it should have been on that annv. The anger, has affected every pour of my being. 3 mesh imlmpants and 11 surgeries in 5 yeas time, over 20 somthing drs. PT’s, painmanagment.ect. and all the drugs, It just goes on on. But if it didnt go and go on, then I wouldnt be here. Im very tired of the cover ups , Lies, ignorence, non caring, and feeling like a damaged women in the prime of my life, I;m trying so very very hard to let the victum in me die All the pain and anger and grief and loss of self! I;m so ready to give all the mesh negativey away, but then as soon as I feel I could follow through on it, another complication arises that just slashes your hope of less mesh pain. So how many times can one hear “we removed all the mesh:” Dont see any mesh” ‘got it all’ I never want to hear that from an docrtor Im sure he will have a hand slap across his face. Having my hope encouraged on so many sugergies and only to be totally devastated by truth always more mesh left in, which always means more surgery and more lies, and so do you stay on the roller caoster, or do you melt into the colors of life and just become the fill in where need be,Sorry Im rambling, but this is just where Im at after 8 years (daily) of mesh complications . Ive been fighting it from day one, :No this isnt going to me: Well Im there, and it is me! No answers as to how my life will play out, except for one thing, I enjoy my life and I did my best and wanted the best for the ones I love. REally what else is there?Looking for the yellow brick road, always thought I was on it! Sorry for the ramble my ambien kicked in alittle while ago, I know better than to be on here after anbein. Praying for all the ladies that are struggling with this mess mesh. Just win I had some peice with it, but not likely.

    s

    t

    more sugery, Till you just get so tird of dealing with untruthful Dr;s of Medicine.

    • Jim says:

      ramble on Sweetie you have everyright to do so. My wife lies in bed and gets up only to use the bathroom or go to the DR. Then she pays the price for three or four days just to recover, so ramble.

      • Jane Akre says:

        Jim-

        Thanks for being a supportive husband. We need to hear more from men who are also impacted by this issue and hear about THEIR anger!!!

      • Tammy says:

        Thanks for the comment Jim. I didn’t remember writting that, till Jane posted the link on FB alittle while ago. LOL When I came across the post, I remembered it. Ambien doesn’t inhibit, just the opposite. I would express the same anger, but would use proper grammer, spelling, and punctuation. lol I hope you share what you read with your wife. It helps to hear what other mesh suffers are dealing with, and how they are dealing with it, or in my case how I’m not dealing with it! Praying for a peaceful evening for you and your wife.

        • Jim says:

          Tammy just hang in there I wish I could say things will get better but my wife had it don in 2008 and is declining. Yes I am as mad as hell, but I love so I take care of her. Just hope other husbands do the same. My wife has made the comment “If were some other man they would already be gone.” Not me I’m it for the long haul, besides I’m to old to start over. LOL

        • Jim says:

          I have told her Tammy, she tells me you’ll get trouble and I say what law have I broken, last time I checked this was the land of the free. I’m ticked off I lost my best friend, lover and wife in one swipe of the Dr.’s knife.,

      • Ellen says:

        why your wife sounds like me..i stay in bed with so much pain. Whenever I go to the doctors and they examine me the pain afterwards is so bad all I want to do is die

  4. Katie Fisher says:

    I am still amazed that doctors continue to deny this is a real problem! and the comment that we are just angry women…. really with your medical degree is that the best you have got ??????? we have suffered enough, this comment is not only insensitive it is arrogant !

  5. Jim says:

    It almost sounds like my wife wrote every word on this. As one Lady said you should be able to trust a Dr. whom you place your life in his hands and then they mess you up for life. I do know my wife didn’t wright any of these because the lawyer’s don’t want her to. But as for me I’m different I have to take care of her not because I have to but because I LOVE HER. Thank Jane for this outlet.

    • Jane Akre says:

      Jim-

      Would you like to write a story about men’s anger? I think you could do it well.

      • Jim says:

        Jane, I married my wife in 91, I met her on Nov. 10th and married her Dec. 12th the same year knew her 30 days and am still married to her. We did everything together. She’s a gospel singer we went to churches, festivals, prisons (state and Federal) We use to do a radio program, leave there and go to our church then come home load my sound equipment and head to the prison and do two services all on Sundays. Mary would have to get up Monday morning to go to work. If she was not there on Mondays no paydays for the men, that would not set well with them. This went on for almost 16 years, then the hysterotomy and all broke loose. My wife complained of feeling like she was being pulled apart inside. The Dr. told her that was normal, they would not listen to her. Kept wanting to give mood drugs and she resisted at first but did finally give in. Why Mary wouldn’t even take asprine before this. Now all I have left of my wife is a shell of the woman I had loved on for so many years. Shopped with her untill I would drop or the security would make us leave. Yes I’m mad as hell at these idiots that we trusted and what did they do , how about FAILED. Now I go to the prisons, I go to the stores, I go to the churches and a lot of times espically when I go to the prison she wants to cry because she can’t go due to her condition. Yes I’m MAD, wake up America and take hold of your own life it is to short as it is don’t let someone or some company rule you.

        • Dora says:

          Jim youre words explain alot. We who still have the mesh inside every day seems to be getting worse and more pain full. Im so damn tired of drs acting like its in my head.Lets try these medications see how they work if not in a week or 2 come bk and see me and well try something else.They act like its in my mind…if it was in my mind then why is the pain confined in my pelvic area,my bowel flowing free, constant pain, pulling and jabbing,no matter what you do you cant ease this pain.Dr ignores these questions and doesnt or hasnt tried any test what so ever and tell me its in my mind and to take fibor pills….I know my body and know when something is seriously wrong…Ive been going threw this since 2005 after mesh was implanted not before !!!!!!! I have lost my faith in drs they are not willing to help and find the problem or a solution. Example of one dr who I went to….HE examined me ( hurting while he was ) says sling is tight, I feel alot of scare tissue this is the only testing he has done then says Ill see you in 3 months start taking fibor pills………what the hell !! No ultra sound or xrays any picure taken to see what the damge is…

          • Jim says:

            Dora, I would run not walk. Don’t know where you live but there is a Dr. going around the teaching on how to remove this mess. Urognecology Associates of Atlanta he is good his name Dr. Miklos Aflanfa. ga and an office in Ca. won’t hurt to call trhe number and web address is in the link, sure hope this helps I know what is like I take care of my and it isn’t easy. It has also took a toll on my health. Good luck and let me know how it turns out, you get me here or at me email: hogbackjim@yahoo.com Good luck Jim

  6. Betty says:

    Thank you Jane. It makes me sick to read all these stories! I know them well. My bowels and bladder are in the process of entering into the mess too! The limitations, the frustration, the lies – that’s the worst. I don’t feel angry all the time – it would kill me. I have my moments, I’ve forgiven my Dr. I don’t think she knew she lied about the complications. It seems I takes 2 steps forward and 2 steps back on a continual basis. I am praying very hard for justice and the maiming of women to STOP. The African issue of circumcision has more press. Ridiculous! I am worried about the court appeals – who’s going to be bought off? That is what I think of our system.

  7. Sharon says:

    Something needs to be done I live in the uk after 3 mesh surgeries have mesh erosion have a choice remove and live with prolapse again or up my pain killers something needs to be done

    • Jan says:

      Hi Sharon,

      I too live in the UK but feel very alone.

      My mesh was inserted last year and started eroding within weeks. I had mesh trimming surgery in August 2012 but again within a few weeks it was coming through again. I had surgery again last week and was expecting to have all the mesh removed but have been told it is too embedded and were unable to remove any of it but they did the repairs again and a hysterectomy and other procedures.

      My pain is intense and I feel utter despair. There seems to be so little information available about this problem in the UK and I wondered how you are getting on trying to resolve your problems?

  8. Jim says:

    I have emailed news networks CNN and Fox as to why no reporters are covering this it is worldwide disaster.

  9. MMM says:

    I think one of the most difficult experiences aside from the chronic pain was reading a medical record from a doctor who provided a second opinion about my mesh situation. I was relieved that he determined the mesh was causing so many issues and directed me to a surgeon who could do a partial mesh removal. Then I received a copy of my medical record from the visit with that doctor. In the report he indicated that I appeared confused and said I gave a very long, detailed convoluted and multifaceted story that brought me to tears. You are damn right it brought me to tears. I had just been validated that the mesh was my issue and the mesh was folded, broken and could be the reason I had so many complications. Your damn right I am angry. I trusted the medical community to do their job and take care of their patients. I did not expect to have the surgeon who implanted the mesh pawn me off on their partner and cancel my appointment so I could not have the opportunity to ask questions about my sling. Your damn right I am angry that I have to fly to California to meet a doctor who seems to be the only one willing to take the risk to help us get all of the mesh out of our bodies. Your damn right I am angry that there are so many of us suffering and we must wait our turn to be treated by this amazing physician. Your damn right I am angry that after one partial removal I now walk with a limp and need to take pain medications to get through a day and night. If I allow this anger to consume me it means I am giving the power to them. It means I will allow those large medical device/pharma companies to win and have control over every aspect of my life. I am angry but I am not going to be a victim. I will not permit this medical disaster to take my focus from my family, friends and work life. I will fight to get this crap off the market until the day I die. I will contact legislators, the media and others who might get these stories out there. Women need to know the mesh is not the answer. It is very simple. Mesh is not good for our bodies. Every single woman on this planet needs to know that fact. Until this mesh is off the market there will be a lot of angry women out there sharing, screaming, and venting their anger to anyone who will listen. I am so frightened by the fact that other women implanted with the mesh have medical conditions are so serious and are in life threatening situations. They are so distraught their voices and anger cannot be heard. I cannot comprehend how our government continues to allow the placement of this mesh in women. I am furious about that and am trying to direct that negative energy into positive action to get the word out. Thank you for the opportunity to share some of my anger. I appreciate it more than you know!

    • Jane Akre says:

      MMM- Wow- You are a powerful speaker who makes so many good points. I think if you lead, others will follow, especially in the area of media and political contacts. Thank you so much for your words and I look forward to hearing more from you. I’m sorry this has happened to you. Jane A.

      • MMM says:

        Hi Jane,

        I seriously believe we need to make it our mission to empower every single woman impacted by this awful mesh. We need to help these women feel that they matter and they have a voice. We can encourage them to try to contact either a senator or representative of their state/country to inform them of this mesh mess. We also need to encourage women to write letters or emails to television shows, newscasts, celebrities, and anyone they think might be able to get the word out about these mesh issues. Let’s start creating a buzz that will not go away. There is such power in numbers. Ask your family and friends to write letters requesting investigations. I honestly believe it is time to say GRIM – Get rid of implanted mesh! Perhaps we need to develop a logo or slogan for some colorful t shirts! I am writing as often as I can and I have only heard from one state representative at this point. It was so comforting to know that this staff member requested a meeting and listened to my story. She shared the concerns with staffers in Washington DC. I can only hope other women, family members and friends will do the same so that our leaders know that these mesh complications are not going away and that we need assistance now!

        • Betty says:

          Hi,

          I have written to everyone until I’m blue in the face – NO ONE – no one is responding. Meanwhile I’m in severe pain (7-9). Getting botox shots into the who-who which are not only $600 a pop but extremely painful. It is obscene that we need these to try and lower our pain. They are experimental, where are the companies pushing the powers that be to take the word “experimental” out of the botox shots, at least in other areas they’ve been proven (FDA approved for botox and migraines). AUGS took “experimental” out of their literature because of complaints of the big pharmas and doctors. Which was another nail in our coffins. After talking to my friend today, I wonder if we could as a group attend the next trial – problems being; finances, extreme pain, not to mention the emotional toll all of this has taken on us. I don’t know if I could just sit there and watch an attorney talk and say something like “thank God for the arms!!” I’d want to grab her and put in mesh myself (not literally). I wonder if a jury would recognize that we were there. It’d be hard to say ‘not guilty” if they saw us side by side. We need more people to stand up for us who can’t, with honesty, integrity and sacrifice. Thank you Jane for yours. It’s sad that animals are treated better than people in the USA. This is a criminal act, intentionally selling a product that they knew would injure people severely. Somehow there has to be a way to hold them responsible and send the message that it is not only wrong but a crime to sell products that maim or kill.

    • Chelsea says:

      Hey could you give me the name of the doctor in California that is removing mesh. Long story short mine is eroding and none of the doctors here will even offer to take it out, instead they pawn it off on another dr. I’m tired of this crap! Thanks.

    • barb says:

      My Dr. told me that it could only be partial removed. It eroded into my vaginal wall. After he partial removed it, I went back for a six month check up. The Dr. told me that I had a polyp on scar tissue and I should see what my gynecologist wants to do. Knowing he was passing me off, I went to my gynecologist. He told me that the incision from the surgery was still not healed. There was not a polyp. My GYN. is a great doctor and referred me to someone that will remove the Gynecare TVT completely. I am scheduled to have that done in April 2013. This whole thing is a horrible mess. I was mad about the mesh eroding. Now, I am also mad about the Dr. being such a jerk. He lied to me and passed me off to another Dr. These Dr. who implant these meshes certainly know what can happen yet they still continue to do the implants. I know that the Dr. I used is ONLY IN IT FOR THE $$$$$.

      Good luck to all of you that have to deal with this terrible situation.

      God Bless

      • Paula says:

        Barb, what state are you in and what doc will remove the entire mesh? So far I have only heard that Dr. Raz will remove the mesh. I have an initial appointment with him in April. I have to have mine removed asap because of complications with acquiring cancer, perhaps probably from the mesh.

  10. MarieAnn says:

    Jim, CNN, and other cable networks cover the failed hip replacements, but must think we women who were experimented on with mesh, are just expendable, not worth the air time. If men’s penises were being ruined by a product worldwide, it would have stopped years ago.

    This rape by mesh has almost taken my life(literally) and soul. It has been almost four years of living hell, pure torture. Thank The Lord for a Faithful and loving husband and supportive family. I am constantly trying to count my blessings I do have, in order to deal with my anger. We live in a very fallen world.

  11. Teresa Jones says:

    Jane:

    Thank you for your work and coverage. We have spoken before. I now know my MESH cannot be removed due to my rare lung disease, IPH and secondary CHF. I cannot get medical clearance for my heart and lung. Dr. Raz confirmed this week I would also need health insurance to proceed with removal with the risk of the IPH/CHF if I could have obtain clearance. Implanted 2004, learned of implant 2012. Approximately 8 months trying to determine if I could get it removed. Dr. Robert Moore in Atlanta confirmed I was too high risk of a patient and could not accept me as a patient and now, also Dr. Raz’s requirements I am unable to meet. Anger does not help me anymore. I have to focus on LIFE and what I have left. My prayers are with each MESH victim. My prayers are with you for the outstanding work you do on our behalf. My husband wept. I held him. So, now we have to move forward in faith that the Lord will extend my days. Prayer is all any of us really have.

    • Lucille says:

      Teresa, so sorry to hear about your situation and im at a loss as what to say in reguards to your mesh. This is so sad to have so much affliction in your life and i pray for you and your husband to be strong in this time of need. Take care and much prayers your way.

  12. Dawn says:

    Anger… Is this a severe enough word for what our bodies are feeling?? Everyday, hour , minute , seconds ……???? It is like no other pain out there !! We are it’s first victims to really start being heard . We scream not from our pain , but the pain of not wanting others to endure this ball of fire, barbed wire and poison shoved up your most private area.. Then made to feel as though you are crazy by THOSE whom we had always TRUSTED…

    We are smart , strong , intelligent , driven , loud Women !!!!! You will not keep us quiet !!!!!!

    So am I angry ???? YES 🙁

    • Ellen says:

      Dawn, I agree 100% we looked at like we are over acting. The only way I can describe the pain is evil and wicked. I have three children and have experience labor pain never felt anything like this. In pain all the time. My belly feels like something is burning in the inside my urologist told me my issues is coming from the mesh but it cannot be removed.

      • Jane Akre says:

        Ellen- Not all urologists feel comfortable removing the mesh, that they, or someone else, put in. But there are a few doctors out there who you might consult with if you want to pursue that road… I just did a story on Dr. Twiss, Dr. Veronikis many people rave about and Dr. Raz at UCLA are a few. I hope you can find a road to healing… thanks for writing.

  13. Chelsea says:

    Is this doctor in the Bay Area the only doctor that removes mesh without giving you crap for it or does anyone know of another doctor that does? I’m from Utah and have IHC insurance and all the doctors I have went to are extremely conservative and want to try every other options or send me to someone else where I get the same answer. This is ridiculous, why in the world would anyone ever want a piece of freaking barbed wire shoved up you. I’m sick of this no sympathy crap. Why would anyone make this up either!

  14. Dora says:

    YES I AM ANGRY..I had the mesh implanted in 2005 if I was informed about the risks and the problems I would be having I would of NEVER had it done. My life has been hell and embarrassing to go places because of the accidents and the limitations I have now.I kept silance for years because of being too embaraased to talk to anyone and figured it was normal but the more I read the madder I get. Its as tho woman were being used for the drs and manufactures experiments. We are supposed to have faith in our drs.Ive been to a few drs about my condition they act like no big deal well it is a big deal when youre life has done a complete turn around constantly in pain miss what you were able to do in life.Im limited to what I used to do with my grand children, family,friends.It had affected my work I carried extra clothes in the trunk of my car due to accidents,Ive been out of work due to this because the pain and constantly running to bathroom.Been times when I couldnt get out of bed because of the pain in lower back and legs pressure like things were gonna fall out of me,Id be some where and had to litterly hold myself up because the pain was so bad.Now they say you may or may not have this removed but you will suffer longer and have more complications.This is why were loosing our faith in drs because theyre not being honest with us. Theyre there to make a buck off of you and insurence companies and dont care what really happens to you.Then when you talk to drs they want to act like its in your head and your nuts…I wish these drs would have to experience this.Then they would NOT RECOMMEND THIS !!!!!!

  15. Kathy says:

    Anger? Yes, I am angry, In 2007 I had a few issues with urine leakage and in trying to take care of myself you put a cheese grater inside me that ruined my sex life, eroded into my vagina, took away my ability to know I need to urinate, and took away my trust. I was never angry, I was never tired, I was never exhausted or stressed out, until mesh was implanted into my vagina, for a wee bit of leakage.

    Angry? You bet I am.

  16. Cindy says:

    Mad??? Not so much mad as irritated. Yes the hip replacement got National attention, but why? Yes that to was a tragic devise and yes they need surgery as well but not as many as us mesh victims. I am going for surgery #6 with Dr Raz and I have so much faith in this caring man.

    I have a wonderful husband by my side but I have to say that I believe the majority of men know of someone that has had this mesh or they have heard about this mesh, so I wonder why the men cannot speak out, they can go to congress, go to Washington. I have been accused of being over dramatic. Really???? Thats what we are labeled now. If we could get the male population to express how it has affected their lives, their trust in doctors, their fears then maybe with us mesh victims and men someone just may listen, maybe their will be someone in Washington that has a wife, mother, daughter, sister etc that has been affected and maybe they will speak up and speak out.

  17. Lucille says:

    ANGER… yes i have alot of anger to the medical field in not believing our mesh problems, inexperienced doctors here in Canada, tossing us off from one dr to another, says one has to live with pain/pills for rest of life, go away, cant help you, i know nothing about it, your depressed, take pills for that! I am a human being living with a device that has altered my whole life and i dont know where i will be if i continue to get worse as my body is always going through so many weird things in pain! I know my body and this my dear friend is not normal. Breaking down into tears, living in pain EVERYDAY, dizzy/blurred vision, bloated, exhausted, financial loss, relationship loss and the list can go on! I feel like i could slip into a shell and stay there as life as i knew it is gone. I was never this way before mesh, so what has happened.. I have better things to do, like be a productive part of society, be happy , healthy and to pick up my grandchildren and enjoy even the simplest things in life! But MESH has taken this all away and doctors need to be paying more attention and put more money into womens health here as we will never go away until this issue is addressed, WE NEED HELP. Anger is not a way always the answer nor does it help,but venting does give me a feel good sigh of relief that some one is reading and feeling the same as me and that i am not alone out here!

  18. Terri says:

    Angry???? He thinks a single adjective can describe what I or others might feel?

    Anger doesn’t even come close to describe what I feel.. 9 years!!! Yes, NINE very long years this garbage they call “gold standard” has wrecked my life.

    If I survive this nightmare for one more year I will be mesh free thanks to and gratitude to you Jane Akre & the support groups whom even through their own pain & hell offer support and give each other hope when so often we have none left.

    I have & continue to feel pain, fear,depression and guilt!! So many emotions running rampant right now I am certain there are even more.

    I am “beyond angry” and the reasons could fill a novel.. anger & utter contempt towards my surgeon ,the pharma. company that manufactured the mesh in my body & the FDA for approving it, and every single doctor in between that failed me by saying there was no reason I should be in so much pain. I have lost and missed so much of my life that I can NEVER get back & each and everyone of you that failed to listen, to care for me & to keep your oath, YOU are to BLAME!!!!!!!

    My GP just a month or two ago I asked if he could do any pre-op testing etc. when I go to CA to have the mesh removed and he said & I quote “You watch to much TV” well the Moron doesn’t know me very well because if he did he would know that I rarely watch television. I despise each and every single one of them..To bad I wasn’t a fly on the wall recently when he received the report from the urogyn I requested & he referred me to sent him a report & wrote in the report that the pain I am having is from the MESH!!!! NINE YEARS to finally have my pain validated.

    I live in constant fear of dying because my immune system just decides to have a go at my liver and by the time the the levels are through the roof the damage is already done,running a fever on a daily basis but test show no explanation as to why, the fear of taking pain medications and becoming addicted to add to the already huge realm of complications from the mesh in my body.

    My message to That “Doctor” if that’s what he calls himself You damn right I’m angry!! YOU took an oath “I will prescribe regimens for the good of my patients according to my ability and my judgment and never do harm to anyone”!! So damn it, if you implant mesh in any woman or man it’s YOUR responsibility to tell them “ALL” the risk BEFORE, tell them the damn truth and if they still want to proceed then by God it’s YOUR responsibility to listen to that patient when things go wrong & take care of them and if you aren’t capable then you should do everything possible to find your patient someone that can instead of being a coward and telling them they are the only ONE!

    • Jim says:

      Terri, you should never feel guilt it was not your fault

    • christine says:

      I am so interested to talk to you. I am thirty eight years old and a divorced mother with three young daughters. I had a complete hysterectomy at 30 years old and a lynx bladder sling put in a month later. I was going to college full time and working full time as well as a full time mother and figure skating and gymnastics coach. I was always active and healthy. I started have constant fevers after mesh wash put in but i was also diagnosed with a genetic tissue disease, i assumed that was causing fevers and lymph node swelling as well as constant elevated ace levels. I was seeing a specialist for everything and having spinal taps ect.. the doctors at mayo suspected an autoimmune disorder. I was referred to pain clinic and put on high dose opiates and fevers were part of everyday life. I could work and function like normal people with 102 degree fever. The more active i was the higher the fever though.the only way to get rid ofit was to sleep it off.i became a police officer but my fevers and fatigue prevented me from staying on the department. In 2010 i had cystocele rectocele again and was told because of my disease i would benefit from elevate mesh. My long story short is that after it had eroded into the vagina, bladder, intestines and i had sveral kidney bladder infections and i finally started researching and took all my research to doctors and said is my body rejecting this, and the doctors never had a clue because i was seeing soo many and each one only treated their area. We need to have less doctors and rather than getting rid of us by giving us pain pills they should do their job and take time to help us. I was given two 80 mg oxycontin perday along with four 10 mg percocets and ambien for sleep. I told doctors to take me off the pain meds and they would talk me out of it until i went in on my own to detox. My father was sixty years old and passed away on feb 22nd the day after he called to make sure my surgery to remove the mesh was set. I had removal on march 4th and my bladder is damaged and now i cannot urinate without a catheter. Everyone has so much pain and suffering but my curiosity lies with people suffering from fevers. Did you also develope chronich bronchitis, pneumonias, granulomas inthe lungs? I developed torticollis also. I was told that polypropelene is not to be heated or frozen so what happens when our bpdies were heating it? Only seventy five percent was removed and i wonder where the rest is. Please tell me anything you can about your fevers and symptoms if you would. My mother is a writer and has several published articles and this is her current passion, she told my dad the day before he died that she was going to make alot of noise over this and she will. I wish you the very best and you and every woman struggling is in my prayers! God bless!!!

    • PJ says:

      TERRI, i thought i was the only one having so much problems with doctors and nurses since my mesh implant. I am like you, my anger is great, and I too, cannot understand how so many in medical in my state can be so cruel to women, that thought as they were told would solve their bladder problems , IT WAS NOT OUR FAULT THAT DOCTORS AND NURSES LIED, AND WE DID NOT KOW WE WERE THE ANIMALS USED FOR TESTING THE MESH, THE COMPANIES AND DOCTORS DID KNOW!

      I CANNOT EVEN GET A DOCTOR AFTER DOING TEST AND GETTING PAID, THAT WILL SIT AND TALK ABOUT TESTS LIKE i WAS A HUMAN BEING. congressman , senators and reps , governors , all cover for the doctors and hospitals that have used us women and will for the rest of our lives for their guinea pigs. We have no choice , we have to either go through more hellish surgeries putting money back into the hands of those that are angry at the law suits, especially those that got paid by the companies to implant the mesh they got rich , billions, or more. It never ends , and never will, infections, scarring , pain, and still leakage, and damage to other parts of our bodies, butchered more when we trust a doctor again, and lied to again, after trying to remove it, it still is protruding out. YOU CAN’T GET STRENGTH BACK AT ALL, IT GETS WORSE, YOU FEEL LIKE A NINETY YEAR OLD WOMAN, when you thought the mesh was going to help get your life back as the doctors said it would, LIES, IT TRULY DESTROYS YOUR LIFE FOR ANY HOPE OF ENJOYING LIFE, PAIN AND SUFFERING, AT TIMES AT DEATHS DOOR, you can’t keep taking anti biotics, , you get to where you cannot fight off anything immune system down so low. TRUST IS GONE, YOU SEE MEDICAL RESEARCH AND THOSE THAT ARE SUPPOSE TO STOP THIS KIND OF THING FROM HAPPENING LIKE THE FDA, THAT CARED LESS ABOUT HUMANS . I called so many times before i knew what was happening with what was going on, to have those answering phone to hang up when I did finally get through, was sent a form that had nothing to do with what i had called about. this was years ago , medical profession, with exception of a few, are not wanting to help at all. especially when they will not even tell you why they lied again , after trying to remove it or they said and mesh is still protruding, WHY? they purposely provoke women to anger , THEY NEED TO BE TREATED LIKE THEY HAVE TREATED WOMEN WITH MESH. THERE WERE TIMES i DID NOT THINK i was going to make it, tHE COMPANIES NEED TO MAKE A WAY FOR THE WOMEN TO FIND THOSE DOCTORS THAT CAN REMOVE THE MESH SUCCESSFULLY , SO MANY WOMEN DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY AND MEANS TO GET TO ANOTHER STATE AND STAY BACK AND FORTH THE EXPENSE IS TOO MUCH, THOSE SUFFERING BAD FOR 4 AND 5 YEARS. , THE MESH THAT SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN REMOVED HAS GOTTEN INTO BOWELS, INTESTINES AND MORE DAMAGE BECAUSE THE COMPANIES CARELESS THEY MADE THEIR BILLIONS AND MORE.

  19. George says:

    Terri et al,

    I send this message with great respect for all who suffer from mesh implants that create severe and chronic health problems.

    As a 50 + white male I have long heard from the women in my life that men in all fields do not listen to them and medical staff in particular seem the first to dismiss the symptoms they are describing. Although I listen to these words the real meaning has hit home with me as I try to get medical help for my hernia mesh complications and have had these suggestions: that I need psychiatric help, have become hyper-sensitive, maybe just need some narcotics, should not read/listen of the blight of others,…. etc. No medical science behind any of these suggestions. So I have a hint of you frustration.

    Yes – like you I am angry about my contrived health problems, but am utterly livid that as you read this women and men around the world are getting mesh implants in their hearts, gums, bellies, arteries, – thinking they will be better off down the road. G

  20. Kathy says:

    I have just had my Y mesh removed after going thou the same problems the doctor had to remove my right ovary right tube and left tube and alot of other things also went wrong but just to long to get into. Im still in bed but getting better but after hearing all the storys on here about the docs still leaveing peices in after they said they got it all out. The doctor i had i liked very much my operation time was surpost to be 3 hours but ending up 7 hours because he thought he was just going in to remove the mesh . I had the ( DE VINCI ROBOT SURGERY) the doctor said he got all of the mesh out ! I feel for everyone that is going thou this mine was put in May 2010 i started having problems i think April 2012!! Kathy

  21. Joy Scieska says:

    I too, am suffering from the TVT-O surgery I had back in March of 2011…., pain, swelling,UTI’s, inability to be intimate…. and now UUI, the list goes on. My obgyn Dr. who performed my surgery told me my symptoms were because I was 52 and they see these symptoms all the time in women my age and wanted to put me on hormone replacement therapy!!!! OMGOSH, seriously??? Oh dare she!!!!! Maybe she could explain that to my wonderful, patient husband of 32 years who has not been able to be intimate with me since the surgery.

    Can anyone tell me if they have heard about or used Dr. Zimmern at USWT in Dallas to have their mesh removed? I have heard good things about him but was hoping to hear from those who have used him. Joy

  22. Michael says:

    You want to hear from some husbands??? My wife had the pro lift put in in June of 06, and it was undoubtedly the worst decision she ever made. After about 6 months she started having digestive issues, diarrhea, vomiting etc. No one could figure out what was going on. During one of our lovemaking sessions, the mesh had protruded through the vaginal wall and did some damage to my ….We went back to the Dr that put in the mesh and he said “Oh don’t worry, it is just a straggler and he can take care of that. After that sex was very uncomfortable for her and the digestive issues and stomach pain got worse. Finally a Dr was looking at her notes and said “You have the mesh, Get that crap out! ” So she did, they removed as much as they could and there is still a little left, every so often it moves and pokes through somewhere. She has nerve damage to the point she has a interstim stimulator from medtronics to help her know when she has to go to the bathroom, which is about a 90% failure. She is on pain medications for the pain, they have done nerve blocks to stop some of the stomach pain, which are moderately successful. We are both 51 years old and have been together since college, we will always be together because we are one. I however have fear of being in the same room with the Dr and J&J as a former HS and College wrestler and Coach mixed with an Italian temper there would be the temptation to even the score and let them live what she has been living, hell I may even implant the mesh in them! I have zero faith in our health system and am losing faith in our legal system as well.

    • Jane Akre says:

      I’m so sorry Michael- Linda Gross also had the Prolift in July 2006. Did you see her coverage…? (visit Legal on the website) It provides an interesting insider look at what Ethicon knew at the time Prolift was approved, but did it anyway. I know that doesn’t help much. Please stay in touch and let us know if you are represented. A patient advocate might guide you from here as far as medical care. These are people who have been there, they don’t work for any providers. They can chime in here if you are willing… thank you.

  23. Olivia Harvey says:

    I have been to the hospital, my family physician, a urogynocologist and a gynocologist, as soon as they find out that I have no insurance they make me feel like I’m crazy and there is no mesh problem. I am so sick of these doctors treating me differently because of this. I am in so much pain, in my groin down to my feet, lower back pain, constant infections, piniching in my vagina when I sit, urinary frequency when there are times that I can’t make it to the bathroom. These doctors still tell me nothing is wrong!!!! One Dr in Tampa, Florida even told me that my mesh must have dissolved and he is supposed to be a good doctor? What a joke! I really wonder if there is some kind of conspiracy between all of them. So now my question is what attorney is going to fight for the rights of the woman that have doctors like I went to? All I keep hearing from my attorney is that my time is running out and I have to have proof that my mesh is causing real problems. This is a horrible thing that all of us have to go through, and then you have to go through even more CRAP from some of these idiot doctors!!!!!!!!

    • Jane Akre says:

      Hello Olivia-

      Needs more proof? Were you this sick before mesh? That sounds like a very odd thing for an attorney to say. Have you retained him or her?

    • Kathy says:

      The amount of money paid to family doctors and Urologist by insurance and us for doctor visits because of our mesh is really a crime in itself. My last visit was a few thousand dollars and for what ? No one will really address the problem . It has been years of stress, X- rays, office visits, co-pays only to come home with no solution to the problem. When will someone care enough to help us ? Our injuries will not go away. In fact, my mesh was implanted over six years ago and I get worse every day. My groin pain has made everything painful. The simple joy of planting my garden must now be done with intense pain that is worse after . I never give up trying but I am a very young person living a painful life. The financial burden is very difficult.

    • SUE STEVENSON says:

      Go To Eric Rovner at MUSC in Charleston, SC. He specializes in femaile urology, mesh problems, incontinence, complex voiding problems and probably more. After he examined me, he came back to the room alone..without all of the students at MUSC, and said ‘You are one strong lady with what is going on inside you’…..wow !!! I have had surgery and am doing much much better. Check out Dr. Rovner by googling [ Dr. Eric Rovner at MUSC ]. Good luck !

      I travelled from Wilmington, NC to Charlston for 3 months tests etc. but was well worth it. I now have a viable claim with a law firm.

      Sue

      • Jane Akre says:

        Best of Luck Sue… please let readers know how you do. Does this doctor promise a full mesh removal? It’s a very difficult procedure and few choose to go that route? Does he use a translabial ultrasound, supposedly the best for seeing mesh?

      • Kathy says:

        Sue, Thank you for the advice. My insurance and doctors will not help me go to out of my network. I have great insurance and they have told me ” no one will see you in this town if you go out of town for surgery” …. And I can only get a partial removal here. After six years of misery, I carry on…. Praying for someone to listen and care enough to help me.

  24. Michele says:

    Everyday I become less and less of who i was before my surgery. I have had 7 major surgeries in 5 years. I have gone from a catheder full time to a diaper full time. The diaper was so humiliating, beyond words. Am finally peeing on my own again, something that I had to learn all over. And people…this is the good side of the mesh surgeries. I had my ,esh removed (what they could find of it) the rest remains in my body making me sick everyday. I had been married only a few short years (my 2nd marriage) when i had the mesh put in. Within a year I had become a sick, broken and unhealthy woman. My bladder just “fell apart”. took me three years to be able to pee normally again. I had a piece of my pelvic bone with a surgical wire and screw still attached to the bone come out my vagina. It was lodged in there for several weeks, felt like I was breaking apart. The doctor left town leaving me to explain to a new doctor what was going on. My life will never be the same. My heart hurts for all the injured woman out there by the mesh that was supposed to help minor problems.

  25. Paula Sbabo says:

    I had a coloplast mesh in 2011, my doctor told me there was no risk of complications. It was the newest mesh on the market, immediately after surgery it began. I had to wear a catheter home and kept it in for three weeks. On one of my visits to my OGBYN I told him I was having so many problems with the mesh to please take it out. I was assured that if I gave it time it would be fine, so I did. The first I noticed is when I pushed to pee the mesh would lock up and I would have to completely relax. I’ve had an overactive bladder for years and take medication for it. It’s very important that whenever I need to relieve myself I am able to do so quickly and easily. Next I wasn’t able to release all the urine from my bladder and would have to get up from the toilet several times and walk back and forth to the toilet. I was taking straws and putting them up inside me trying to urinate, which didn’t work by-the-way. Then I couldn’t pee at all, I walked around the block, took a hot shower. I was in panic mold and about 20 minutes from going to the E.R. and having a catheter put in. When I found a monistat insert and pushed it far inside of me and it worked. I went back to my doctor who downplayed the whole ordeal and said he couldn’t find anything wrong with. I truly thought I would be like that the rest of my life. I had urinary tract infections from using the insert over and over again. I was miserable and would sit and cry. Then I was told that there were specialist a UroGynecologist that knew more than a OGBYN. I found one very quickly, first she put a round device inside to act as a catheter and gave me medication to relax the mesh, neither worked. Somewhere during that time I also suffered a urinary prolapse which I believe may have already been weaken but from the extra pressure of pushing and putting the monistat insert inside me over and over again, it finally just gave out. The specialist performed a urinary prolapse repair and a mesh sling release. The mesh is imbedded inside me and will never come completely out. Which is something my doctor never told me until after the surgery, but at least now I’m able to urinate as I did before. I still have an overactive bladder and will always have so my fears of what could happen years down the road. The mesh could erode or cause multiple injuries and is now something I have to live with. All mesh products should be recalled and never put inside another woman again. These companies knew there was risk of complications and allowed them to go out anyway. Every woman who have filed suit deserves every dime she gets. Hopefully in each case it will be such a large amount that the manufacturers of these mesh products will decide to cut their losses and pull the mesh products……..

  26. Rebecca says:

    I was such an outgoing loving life person. I married my high school sweetheart and had 2 beautiful girls and loved my life. I worked days and my husband nights. I thought I had everything! I never let anyone see me hurting, upset, blue. I was too busy being a mother and wife. I always believed that loving someone meant putting their feelings above your own. I once read a paper my oldest daughter wrote about how I was her hero and how much she looked up to me. I went to nursing school with 2 young children and a husband that worked nights. My youngest daughter told all her teachers in school that she was going to be just like her mother and go to school to learn to help others. She is now a senior in high school and plans to be a doctor. I had a horrible car accident that I shouldn’t have walked away from while I was in my last year of nursing school. I had a headache every day for 2 years before I ever went to a doctor to find out why. I used to enjoy riding horses in barrel racing and pole bending parades and trail rides. When I was on a horse I could relax like no where else. I felt closer to nature and closer to God on the back of a horse. I still managed while I was in nursing school to go to every basketball game and every band concert. I went to work as a nurse working post-op GYN surgery. I cared for women who had hysterectomies and bladder surgery. I believed the doctors that informed us what we needed to educate our patients with before we sent them home. I thought I was helping all those women to a better way of life. I had no idea that I was helping them to hell. I had SUI while carrying 50# bags of feed and moving 65# bales of hay. I had SUI playing with my girls and nieces on the trampoline. I had SUI while riding barrels and poles on horseback. I finally after 6 years of putting it off because there was something else more important to do. Something else that needed my time more than I needed surgery. When I finally decided to have the surgery I told my family it was this wonderful new procedure that was outpatient and I knew everything I needed to know about the procedure and the recovery. Immediately after the surgery I developed these horrible painful bladder spasms. I was told by my doctors that it might be a bit tight but it would loosen up some and they would subside. I dealt with this in silence believing what I was told by the doctor I trusted to deliver my 2 girls, tie my tubes, perform my hysterectomy and now my TVT sling operation. I have a really hard time speaking about all my health problems and don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I have never really sat down and talked to anyone except my spouse. He understands but doesn’t want to sit and dwell on the bad so talking to him is hard. I have tried many times to talk to him and though he is one of the most amazing men on earth it seems to leave me frustrated. He tries to be understanding yet when he says things like, “you just need to get out more.” or “just get up swallow a handful of pills if that’s what it takes and get on with your day.” I have spent the last 7 years in a slow decline in my health. I thought that I didn’t bounce back from the surgery because it was the 4th abdominal surgery I had had and this after 2 babies. I was older too 32 at the time. I have had 2 anaphylactic reactions of unknown origin and broken out in all body hives 4 times in this time. Numerous allergy tests have revealed no known allergies and no explanation for these reactions. I have developed a constant red tint to my face like those known to have lupus. I have asked doctors about this and have been told everything from it’s an allergic reaction to something to it’s just your blood pressure. I have had a headache every day since my auto accident and this has been the blame for some of my ailments. I have tried to get numerous doctors and my own family to believe me that there was something IS something just not right. I have been told I have 3 herniated disc and spinal stenosis but it’s not bad enough according to the MRI for surgery. I have had 2 different neurosurgeons tell me that it’s not bad enough to explain the pain I have. I have seen 2 different neurologists for my migraines and headaches. I have seen 4 different pain doctors in an attempt to control my pain. I can’t pee without spasms and pain. I have popped blood vessels in my eyes trying start a stream of urine or keep it going. I have had so many urinary tract infections that I lost count. I get pimple or boil like cysts and when my wonderful spouse helps me to doctor them he removes plastic like bits that were thought to be stitches that never resolved. I have excruciating pain in my lower back that radiates down my legs. I have had multiple CT scans to rule out appendicitis. I have had colonoscopies to rule out cohn’s disease. I have had doctor after doctor tell me they can find no reason for my pain. Because I am a nurse they all assume that I am drug seeking. I dealt with the pain scared to take pain meds for over 3 years because I was afraid of everyone thinking I just wanted drugs. I have a non existent sex life due to pain, numbness, return of SUI, and non- functioning sex drive. I mean how can you even think about sex when you are worried you will piss on your partner. How can you think about sex when everything is numb and you feel worthless and cheap. How do you tell your spouse that you can’t feel anything? How do you tell your spouse that you hurt too bad to even be touched? There are days when it hurts for my clothes to even touch me. How do you tell your children that it hurts to hug them? how do you tell your 10 month old grandson that it hurts to hold him, to hug him, to rock him to sleep like you have every night since he came home from the hospital? How do you explain to your family that you are too tired to go to the lake? How do you tell your daughter that you are too sore to stay the entire game and will miss her halftime band performance? How do you tell your daughter that you can’t play your flute beside her during the homecoming game because you hurt too bad? How do you tell your daughter that you hurt too bad to go to her band concert? How do you tell your daughter that you hurt so bad you can’t get out of bed because you sat in the basketball stands for 2 hours the day before? How do you tell your children that you hurt so bad you can’t take another step? How do you tell your husband that you hurt so bad you can’t even stand his touch? I take 17 different medications a day and still hurt so bad that I can’t enjoy life. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. When doctors hear that word they immediately start to treat you like a drug seeker. They won’t listen to anything you say after that and no matter what is wrong with you they write it off as fibromyalgia. All the doctor’s want to do is shove another pill at you. I don’t know how many times I have asked doctors to please help me and have said that I don’t want another pill it’s just like putting a bandaid on a hemorrhage! I had a doctor Friday tell me that fibromyalgia was what doctors diagnose you with when you say you are in pain and there is no clinical reason you should be hurting. I have spent the last 7 years in hell with no way out. I lost my job and subsequently my health insurance. I have been forced to file for disability at 39 years old. There are some days I can’t even get out of bed. I have mesh protruding through my vaginal wall. I pull bits of it out through sores from time to time. I am taking care of my ill spouse who passes out without warning, my 2 daughters one 21 in an ugly divorce the other 17 in her senior year of high school, my 10 month old grandson, and my lifetime friend who is a paraplegic from a 3-wheeler accident. I don’t have time to be sick or not get up every day. I contacted a lawyer about 2 years ago and after the initial contact only called to check when I had the time and they have just now gotten my medical records. I was directed to this site by the law firm. Something kept at me
    to visit this site. I went to it on Friday afternoon and learned that this mesh might be to blame for everything that has happened to my body and all my pain. I don’t even know how to feel really. I am angry yes! I have missed out on so much in my children’s lives that will never happen again! I have a non existent intimate relationship with my spouse. I am missing so much of my grandbaby’s life. I am VERY angry! I am also angry that as a medical professional I have in a sense lied to countless women that I cared for and told them all they were going to be fine even better than fine. I don’t have health insurance and have no idea even where to start with all this. I called a urologist Friday and their office had already closed so I will have to try again on Monday. I have missed so much of my life. You ask if we are angry… HELL YES WE ARE ANGRY!!! we have been lied to, discredited, talked down to, laughed at, told we were crazy! When I die I don’t have to worry about heaven or hell because I have done my time in hell and unfortunately my journey has not even really began!

    I just pray for justice for all those that lied and continue to lie to people saying this is safe. I pray for full and speedy recoveries for all those who are victims and for their families as well. I pray for understanding for all those involved. I pray for strength and courage as I begin my journey. All we really have left to do is pray!

  27. g guest says:

    When are criminal charges going to be brought against all that were bought off and paid to keep mesh quite? ATTORNEYS, DOCTORS, NURSES, HOSPITALS, MEDIA, POLITICIANS , MAYBE THE JUDGES NEED TO COME TO THE WEB SITES AND SEE WHAT THESE IN POWER HAVE DONE TO THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA AND OTHER COUNTRIES, THAT THESE PEOPLE ALL GOT RICH AND FAVORS FROM ALL OF THE ABOVE. any judge that does not demand these make funds available now , for all to get to the doctors that truly treat people as humans and not animals that will sit and talk and answer questions, for the women and all damaged to get closure to what they will have to deal with the rest of their lives. THOSE WITH FDA, DURING PRESIDENTAL DAYS, KEPT HANGING UP THE PHONE, WHEN i EVEN TOLD OF A DRUG AFTER MESH IMPLANT THAT ALMOST TOOK ME OUT OF THIS WORLD.

    The doctor that implanted the mesh in me wrote the prescription, and my heart for 4 days and nights, raced like I never knew before, very high fever, I had to get in cold baths trying to get fever down. I believe with my heart that, that doctor knew, before he left this area, when I took that drug to the d.a. here, he would not do anything, I said something is wrong and needs to be reported the fda will not listen to me, this drug was given to me by the doctor that did mesh surgery on me, I know how corrupt this area is even the d.a. and more. HE WOULD NOT DO ANYTHING, HE DOES NOT BELIEVE PERJURY IS A CRIME IN TENNESSEE, AND NEITHER DO POLITICIANS.

    PEOPLE NEED TO CHECK OUT THOSE IN THEIR STATE PAID OFF TO KEEP THIS QUITE. SEND ALL GUILTY EVEN NEWS MEDIA THAT COVER AND WILL NOT TELL THE TRUTH TO , THE PEOPLE OF THE USA. YEAH IT GETS THAT DEEP IN ———-, WITH THOSE THAT COVER THE TRUTH UP, THAT TAKE BRIBES, WHILE PEOPLE SUFFER. TO MAKE SURE THE CHEMICAL COMPANIES AND DOCTORS AND MORE DO NOT PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR LIFE BEHIND BARS LIKE THE ANIMALS THEY ARE , THAT TREAT HUMAN AS ANIMALS, THAT ARE SUPPOSE TO SAVE LIVES NOT LIE AND COVER FOR COLLEAGUES.

  28. g guest says:

    trust????? my attorney said to me after they would not answer my calls that I did not trust them, I told him I said trust has to be earned and you have not earned my trust. not answering my calls and questions, trying to say I could not tell anyone on internet , when they knew women were being lied to by doctors, being butchered again by those colleagues, angry because women filed cases against mesh, where we suppose to get answers , so many lies and being treated cruel by medical professions and attorneys that knew women should get every penny these chemical companies made on mesh, and all paid off even politicians go to prison like the mercy they showed to american women and men. let those doctors that treat those women and men like humans after funds set up what their future hold of infections and pain and more., those that did not lie to patients, that know their profession , to save lives , not to treat people the way they would not want to see even an animal treated. they are the animals put them behind bars that got paid off and rich the fda those that answered the phones , also covered this up, why?

  29. Ellen says:

    I had the bladder sling implant in 2007, before I left the hospital there was complications. they sent me home with a catheter which I had for 2 weeks. After removing the catheter I notice I was urinating sideways something I did not do before the implant. the pain was horrible and the recovery was brutal. at my check up I inform my doctor that I was having pain and my hips seem to be out of wack. he inform me that because the way my legs was position this is common and after awhile the discomfort will go away its 2013 now. the pain I have experience throughout the years is crazy. I have had many bladder infections pain beyond words that I never was feeling before the mesh implant. went to so many doctor non of them knew what the issues. mentally I am drained. My urologist telling me that the mesh cannot be remove I seeking a second opinion . I am anger at myself and the doctors and the manufactures who release this dangerous devices. My prayer goes out to everyone who is suffering.

  30. truefully says:

    There have been a lot of fraud cases filed in these trials in every state, and a thorough investigation needs to be done and ordered, this was to bog down these trials, to make sure all are covered that got pay offs from these chemical companies and doctors that did these surgeries were all covered not to expose them

    Why do you think doctors and their office were so cruel to women and lied to them over and over ? They knew the attorneys in these cases were not going to go after them. As some attorneys sent clients letters dictating to them, that they could not go on web sites like this one . to close all facebook, and other web sites completely down and off limits, knowing doctors were going to treat, SOME, AND I REPEAT SOME WOMEN LIKE THEY WERE LOWER THAN ANIMALS AND NOT TELL THEM ANYTHING ABOUT THE MESH. These women dropped , look at the cities those attorneys are in, ??? cities where the chemical companies pay employment to their state, paid off not to allow some cases to be heard. PUTTING MORE ON THOSE WOMEN THAT DESPERATELY NEED HELP GETTING GOOD DOCTORS THAT WILL TALK TO THEM LIKE A HUMAN AND ANSWER QUESTIONS,. THAT THEY NEVER GOT FOR YEARS FROM OTHER DOCTORS THAT KEPT LYING TO THEM.

    POLITICIANS AND MORE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING IN STATES, BECAUSE TO MANY WERE PAID OFF TO DO NOTHING, AND THOSE EVEN WITH FDA, THAT HUNG PHONES UP ON THOSE CALLING.

    Sounds like something in a horror movie doesn’t it? The reality of those so greedy for power and money that they think nothing about lives of people here, These things happen in communist countries right? where the media will not expose those corrupt and feed people propaganda and lies. We could clean out america and court rooms if they would show all the lies and cover ups they do in america today. But to use people for medical research , testing, without telling people that are effecting women , and children, and men, NOT ALL WILL GET TO SE JUSTICE, CORRUPTION, OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE LIES, OF THOSE BEHIND THE SCENES , YOU HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH HELL THAT THOSE IN POWER AND MEDIA CAN DO TO PEOPLE IF ANY EXPOSE THEM, ATTORNEYS, SOME JUDGES, POLITICIANS AND ORGANIZATIONS, LOBBIST THAT SUPPORT THESE CHEMICAL COMPANIES AND DOCTORS AND MORE.

    WHY WERE SOME PUT THROUGH MORE HELL THAN OTHERS? MIND GAMES PLAYED BY ATTORNEYS THAT TOOK THEIR CASES. These women did not need more put on them, and these attorneys knew it, but they know how to breAK PEOPLE MENTALLY. THEY TOO WILL NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS ASKED BY THEIR CLIENTS.

    WHAT LITTLE FOR WHAT THE WOMEN THAT HAVE TRULY SUFFERED AND BEEN PUT THROUGH HELL, IS NOT ENOUGH, FOR THE BILLIONS THEY MADE USING THEM FOR MEDICAL RESEARCH AND USED AS ANIMALS.

    WHEN ARE ALL THE CRIMINAL;CHARGES GOING TO BE BROUGHT AGAINST ALL IN WASHINGTON AND IN STATES THAT COVERED THE MESH TRUTH UP, TO THE SORRY DOCTORS THAT LIED TO WOMEN AND MORE, THEY ARE ALL GUILTY OF CRIMES AGAINST HUMAN BEINGS, EVEN ATTORNEYS AND ANY JUDGE THAT WILL NOT ALLOW THE WHOLE TRUTH TO BE TOLD IN COURT ROOMS THROUGHOUT AMERICA. AND THOSE FRAUD CASES FILED SOME SHOULD GET LIFE THAT HAVE STOPPED SOME WOMEN FROM GETTING HELP. THE NEWS MEDIA TOO! COVERD UP THE WHOLE TRUTH OF THIS MESS. THAT HAS DESTROYED WOMEN’S LIVES. BUT THEY KNOW THAT! AND THEY IT BEFORE THE FIRST IMPLANT WAS DONE, THIS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED , WHAT WILL BE NEXT FOR HUMANS ?

  31. newhopemom says:

    Nowhere to go….noone to talk to…yeah…getting to where I am realizing that things won’t ever change. I just turned 50 and the past 3 1/2 years have been a living hell. Ready to give it all up…I mean…there is no help out there….multiple sugeries, 6 months of humiliating vagina and pelvic therapy and now having to live with constant back, pelvic and groin pain. Dr.s don’t really care…now I am beginning to not care as well….about anything. The only thing that has kept me alive thus far is my children and my precious granddaughter. God please send ppl like me a place to go for help…somewhere that will listen and believe the pain is real….I can feel I am fading away and I am truly scared.

  32. insultedinwashington says:

    I thought I had finally reached the end of my suffering…but today Endo/American Medical Systems added insult to my injuries.

    In August 2010 I had a hysterectomy, when setting up the surgery my doctor suggested a bladder sling implant to correct my stress incontinence. He assured me it was very safe and would fix the problem. Well this was only the beginning of much worse problems. After the implant urination was painful, the doctor said “it’s a healing process”. The stress incontinence was not fixed, and intercourse was painful but I did not even consider the pain was from the mesh, my husband and I thought it was just physical changes due to the hysterectomy. Over time sex became increasingly more painful to the point of excruciating. In three years following my implant my life ever so gradually got turned upside down and I didn’t even see it, but everyone around me saw the changes in my personality and temper. In April 2013 I discovered the mesh erosion. By this point I could barely walk, getting up from sitting was a slow and agonizing ordeal, I was exhausted all the time and everything hurt; shoulders, elbows, hips, legs, knees and ankles. Why would I possibly attribute any of this to a little piece of mesh? I went to a urologist who simply said ok it needs to come out. No explanation of what it was doing to me physically and emotionally, just scheduled a surgery. Three days later my Medicaid insurance dropped me and I had to cancel my surgery. At the time I was angry, in hindsight I say there is a reason for everything. I wasn’t very trusting of that urologist he was too vague.

    I spent the next several months researching the mesh complication symptoms and removal procedures. When my insurance was reinstated it took me two months to find a urogynecologist on my plan. Dr. Clemons in Tacoma WA in case anyone is looking. It is a three hour drive there from my home but well worth it. By this point, March 2014, I had finally connected the crippling pain to the mesh but I still didn’t understand it. My first appointment he explained the problem and his method of removal, a partial removal and a full explanation of why. He was very knowledgeable and understanding of what I was going through, far more so than I expected from a male doctor, I now know he must have been actually listening to the hundreds of victims he treated before me. Truly listening and believing another rare occurrence from doctors. April 14, 2014 Dr. Clemons performed my mesh removal. Now in recovery from the surgery and the trauma of the last three years I feel like me again.

    Two weeks post removal I am realizing how sick I really was and I now know without a doubt that all of the pain and misery was from that little piece of mesh. My illness and injuries caused by the irresponsibility of a billion dollar corporation destroyed my entire quality of life for the past three years. My marriage of 27 years is hanging on by a thread and looking back I see how intolerable I was. My injuries prevented me from being able to obtain full time work, this has totally drained our family financially, our home is in foreclosure and time is running out to save it. The emotional damage from stress and losing my sense of self will take some time to pull out of but everyday gets better. As a friend said the other day, “hey you’re back”. Physically I feel human again. My husband has commented that I am starting to look like myself again, apparently even my facial features and expressions were altered and affected. My husband says my face was pinched, my brow always furrowed and mouth pursed tight, everyone around me said I looked mean, but I couldn’t see it. I realize now as I heal how much pain I was in constantly. I no longer feel like I need a crane and hoist to help me in and out of the car or up from a chair. At 48 I felt 90 it was horrible.

    When I discovered the erosion I contacted an attorney and got my place in line to sue the creators of the monstrosity that stole three years of my life. I can’t get those years back but I have hope for compensation. I am still waiting for my case to be filed with the court and have fully accepted that it could take possibly years to get my day, but I had hope. I have followed along the trials of the mesh cases and seeing multi-million dollar award settlements has a way of boosting my patience. It is hard to put a dollar value on the life and time taken from me but it is all we can hope for. So today we are told that American Medical Systems is settling on the 22,000 cases against them YEAH! Right? NO, this is where they add insult to injury. The settlement offer is $830 million, sounds like a lot until you do the math. Across 22,000 cases that is only $37,000 each. Take off the 40% to the attorney and you have $22,000. Now I am angry. Do they think we are sheep? That doesn’t begin to touch even the financial losses of the past three years let alone the physical and emotional trauma and suffering. This is an insult! My attorney says I will get a letter soon giving me the specifics for my settlement but I already doubt that the offer will be acceptable. I wasn’t really angry until now. Nobody ever openly mentions their hopes for compensation; I am starting to think it is a forbidden subject.

  33. Tammy says:

    I have been suffering since 2004. I have never endored so much pain in my life..I can’t do things with my children and lost my husband over this He didn’t understand what I was going through I have fevers, bloated stomach, have a hard time urinating, and bowels haven’t been the same.. I couldn’t satisfy my husband because of the servers pain..I thought I was all alone I thought maybe I’m losing my mind.all I know is I could do everything before my surgery and now my children say that I never would do anything with them I’m not only suffering from the horrendous pain from the mesh but I’m also suffering from losing my husband losing all of my motherly time that I lost with my children and lost so many years of my life that I can never get back. I was never told of the symptoms of having the procedure I AM VERY ANGRY!!!!!!! And now all I’m waiting for is to pass away to stop my suffering it might sound Cowardly but I feel guilty that I’m a waist of space and don’t want to live like this know more..I’ve been to counseling.. I’ve been to Dr for uti infections I can’t count how many times and I know what uti are should after all these years so I know if I have them or don’t when I don’t I suffer from so much pain to try and urinate ( please excuse me if I offend anyone for using the word urinate) PLEASE IF ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO GET HELP I’D SO APPRECIATE IT..KNOW DR FROM WERE I LIVE DON’T ECEN HAVE A CLUE WHAT REALLY IS GOING ON I DONT WANT MEDS I WANT HELP!!!!!

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