Ella Ebaugh on Struggling in Silence

//Ella Ebaugh on Struggling in Silence

Ella Ebaugh on Struggling in Silence

Ella Ebaugh York Daily Record

Mesh Medical Device News Desk, October 16, 2017 ~ Ella Ebaugh recently survived a grueling five-week trial against Johnson & Johnson over the complications from two of her pelvic mesh implants. Jurors awarded her a record $57 million, the highest jury award so far in the Philadelphia Court of Common Pleas. 

There are more than 130 cases set to be heard in this venue over pelvic mesh, most of them naming defendant Johnson & Johnson and its Ethicon medical device division, all of them claiming the pelvic mesh products are defectively designed.  Some meshes have even been removed from the market, but not all, even the ones found to be defective. 

In the case of Ebaugh, the TVT-Secur is off the market in a quiet removal by J&J, but the TVT remains sold and implanted in women. It is called by medical societies “The Gold Standard.”

Her case has been appealed by J&J. Ebaugh reminds us here that money does not return a quality of life.

Jurors decided the TVT and TVT-Secur Ebaugh received led to her life-altering and permanent injuries.  Ebaugh tells Mesh News Desk that despite the verdict, the suffering goes on.

“I pray and support all my mesh sister’s and their husband that stand by our sides as we suffer every day with these horrific defective mesh devices that were implanted in us to treat what was suppose to be a minimally invasive surgery for stress urinary incontinence.”

“I had 2 mesh devices implanted in 2007 to treat my stress urinary incontinence. Several years later the mesh eroded into my urethra and bladder. I’ve had several surgeries to try and remove the mesh. I suffered various injuries including extensive scarring to my urethra, intrinsic sphincter deficiency, chronic urinary tract infections, excruciating chronic pain, dyspareunia.”

“I have anger towards J&J/Ethicon because we introduced evidence during my 5 week trial that proved J&J/Ethicon intentionally manipulated the literature regarding problems with the mesh and withheld information about complications and injuries from doctors.”

“I suffer with psychological torment, fatigue because I wake up every hour to go to the bathroom, severe depression because of my excruciating pain and the burden to my family, I have no desire to go on, grief knowing I can’t do the things I use to do, anxiety when leaving the house because of having accidents, brain fog and confusion, guilt because I can’t visit family and friends.  I use to be very social, not anymore.”

“I say I’m okay even though I’m not it’s just easier that way. This is why I struggle in silence.”

Ebaugh entered photo contest in York, PA

“I have a teenage son that still needs his mom so I keep everything inside so I don’t worry him. I struggle every day to get out of bed. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand and it hurts to walk this mesh has ruined my life. My urethra is mangled I have bladder spasms, I can’t control my urine flow like most women. Minor daily task takes me all day. I was called fat, ugly and lazy and that hurts. Just because you can’t see my pain doesn’t mean I’m not in pain. I don’t want sympathy or attention I’m just trying to go on so I can see my son graduate.”

“It should be a crime that J&J/Ethicon is allowed to get away with ruining so many lives for their own greed.”

“I had a wonderful team of lawyers who believed in me and a wonderful jury of 12 that unanimously found J&J/Ethicon liable for their defective mesh.”

“I was awarded a large settlement but no amount of money can take away my pain and loss time with my family who I love dearly. I probably won’t see any money in my lifetime because of all the appeals.”

“I just pray that all my mesh sister’s and husbands get their day in court. Nobody should have to endure this excruciating pain for the rest of their lives. If you are lucky enough to get a trial date, be prepared for the defense lawyers to make you out to be the bad guy instead of the victim. I’m so thankful that I had pictures of the mesh in my urethra and bladder because mysteriously my treating doctors didn’t have them. Please don’t let anybody tell you your pain isn’t real. Your pain is real. I see a psychologist who is working with me on finding a new normal which is one day at a time.”

“Please keep fighting because if we don’t the bad guys will win.”

“God Bless and Good Luck my Friends.”

By |2017-10-21T03:02:07+00:00October 17th, 2017|News|33 Comments

About the Author:

I’m National News Editor, Jane Akre and I began Mesh Medical Device News Desk aka Mesh News Desk (MND) in the summer of 2011 just after the Food and Drug Administration issued an explicit warning to the public that complications associated with surgical mesh used for prolapse repair (POP) and incontinence (SUI) are NOT rare! That was the starting point for the litigation you see today and thousands of lawsuits have been filed by women whose lives have been altered, some permanently, by the use of this petroleum-based product.


  1. Anon October 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm - Reply

    Thank You! Ella

  2. Bejah Blue October 17, 2017 at 5:18 pm - Reply

    We love you Ella. We are with you in spirit. Love, Bejah

  3. Kitty October 17, 2017 at 9:09 pm - Reply

    ELLA…Thank you for sharing with us. Take care of yourself thru out the appeals.

    • ALL MESHED UP October 18, 2017 at 1:49 pm - Reply

      Thanks Kitty maybe one day we can all get together for a MESHED UP Picnic to meet everybody. Love you all

      • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 9:00 pm - Reply

        LOVE that idea….sort of a family gathering. It would need to be in the middle of the country I expect. Let’s think about that and keep in touch no matter what happens. Bejah

  4. Kitty October 17, 2017 at 9:30 pm - Reply

    ELLA. If u received a settlement..there will be no appeal. Best wishes to u…but don’t say too much or they will rescind it.

    • Jane Akre October 18, 2017 at 12:54 pm - Reply

      Kitty- a settlement means there is no appeal, J&J agrees to it. Since she won in court and J&J announced it would appeal… that could take about three years if past history is any indication…

      • Kitty October 19, 2017 at 6:26 pm - Reply

        I know Jane…but Ella mentioned settlement..i was confused. I hope it won’t take long. She is not as old as some of us…so the money will help somewhat with trips to the best Dr’s in the US. It is very expensive to get back to Mayo or fly out to Phoenix. G-d speed Ella!

      • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 9:01 pm - Reply

        Three years is better than six years. I think I can stay alive that long, ha! Bejah

  5. Anonymous October 18, 2017 at 11:48 am - Reply

    You’re singing My Story honey. I have severe complications from having mesh inside of me and each day I struggle to find a reason to just keep going on. I still have not gotten a settlement. I don’t understand how this can continue to go on when people know it’s bad for us and mesh is even listed as a dangerous material is not supposed to be used in humans and yet it continues. Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t because we’re women and nobody cares to hear our cries. I’m glad you got a good settlement but you’re right it will never replace the lives that these monsters took from us. It is ruined my life completely I’m isolated stay in my home most days because it’s hard to drive, walk or do anything. The only thing that hurts most is the people that are supposed to be fighting for us, protecting us, I don’t think they get the gravity of the situation either. Family members try to understand but like you said if they can’t see your pain they can never begin to understand. I will continue to pray for your family hang on, see your son graduate, get married, and have grandchildren that is what you can hang onto. Me I don’t even have any of that hope I have no grandchildren and never will. I know that I will live the rest of my life alone and yes Mesh is the reason. It had taking my marriage, my ability to work, to be outside doing the things I love and so much more. I just want you to know that you are not suffering alone. I want people to know that once you get the money suffering doesn’t stop. Thank you for sharing your story dear hang on to your husband and your son with both hands.

    • ALL MESHED UP October 18, 2017 at 1:40 pm - Reply

      Love you anonymous. I feel your pain and wish our voices were heard loud and clear. I wish I could help you and others but I can’t even help myself some days. I appreciated all the articles and the mesh Angels out there advocating for all whose lives have been destroyed by mesh. All I can say is one day at a time. Take care my friend and mesh sister

  6. Debbie October 18, 2017 at 2:09 pm - Reply

    I’m suffering like the rest of you. Been almost 31/2 years. Suffering like no one will understand! My husband committed adultery after 33 years destroyed my family.my daughter OD a year and few months ago, she was destroyed by what he did. Then the downward spiral for another year and few months. This destroyed her faith in men, one bad relationship after another. May 23 of this year she took her life leaving me with her 12 year old son who is my life. The night before she shot herself we had a discussion about her stepdaughter who raised her from the age of 2-37 year old. She was crying and said she hated his Frickin guts. Nit in those exact words. Next day at that time she was dead at the hospital. All because of no Intercourse for 2 years. He strayed and I forgave him. She was furious and hated him even more. I’m still urinating daily on myself, keep UTI ZCONSTANTLY. 8 SURGERIES , I’ve been through pain I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. Oh my kidneys failed a month after surgery ,3 days in hospital. Now have chronic kidney disease stage 3. Read up on that. I could die. This bitch of a doctor messed me up and several more people and moved out of town while having a house built. What’s that tell you!! I hope they pay well, I’m not accepting change!!!!!

    • ALL MESHED UP October 18, 2017 at 7:59 pm - Reply

      Debbie my heart aches for you. This absolutely tragic. I hope and pray you have an awesome attorney. Try and stay strong for yourself and your little guy.

      • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 9:05 pm - Reply

        My heart aches also. We feel for you sister. What an unbearable burden. I wonder if men could bear such a weight. Bejah

    • Kitty October 19, 2017 at 10:23 pm - Reply

      DEBBIE. So sorry for your hell on earth. It may take many years for the truth to come out. Where did this plastic come From? CHINA?? I watch my labels carefully.

      • Jane Akre October 20, 2017 at 6:57 pm - Reply

        Kitty, please no derogatory racist comments here. Ever!

        • Kitty October 20, 2017 at 9:46 pm - Reply

          Ok Jane…sorry

          • Jane Akre October 20, 2017 at 11:56 pm

            Thanks Kitty, always appreciate you……

          • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 9:07 pm

            I think Kitty was making an economical statement, not a racist one. Because of the work my brother does with copyright violations across international boundaries I am hyper aware of these things and Kitty may have a valid point. She is not being racist, I am sure of it. A remark about the economics seems entirely warranted to me, just FYI. Bejah

    • Kitty October 19, 2017 at 10:32 pm - Reply

      The bit****s are the worst Dr’s. ” Oh the places I’ve been. The stories I will tell.”..but not today.

      • Bejah Blue October 25, 2017 at 9:32 am - Reply

        Kitty, Sorry to be dense but I do not understand what you are referring to. Can you help me? Thx. Bejah

  7. anonymous October 23, 2017 at 12:41 pm - Reply

    I just dont understand how this can happen to us and no one cares. No one even tries to give us a decent settlement so we can afford the medical care we need. And sadly many times it is to late to do anything. How can this happen in the US. Are there no rules of human morals and how to treat people anymore. My hurts so much these days again. I do wonder many days when will I finally have enough and just give up. How much do we all have to lose and try to live through before it just becomes enough. I am so very sorry you all have to go through this. And no one seems to get it because they can’t see our injuries. And when the juries do the judge throws it out. So very very sad

    • Jane Akre October 23, 2017 at 12:46 pm - Reply

      Whats concerning is that a jury of our peers can put in the effort to sit for weeks and listen to the evidence. Then after conferring among themselves, they render a decision. That’s the way it is supposed to work. For the judge in the case to completely overturn a jury decision is very serious indeed. Were there egregious errors during the trial? If so, that judge should have call ed them out and corrected the record at the time it would seem. I’m not a lawyer, but as an observer and a citizen, this seems to uproot the very system we believe in and our right to a be judged by our peers.

      • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 9:09 pm - Reply

        Absolutely, Jane. Thank you. I will find out whatever I can about this judge and report to you. Bejah

        • Bejah Blue November 1, 2017 at 9:30 pm - Reply

          It is now Nov 1st…I am still working on this guys. I have not forgotten. Bejah

    • Bejah Blue October 24, 2017 at 10:24 pm - Reply

      Take heart sister, this is the way of the world and there are many who care a lot. We just do not hear about them as much. I can feel something happening…like an earthquake coming. Stay strong, and have faith. Bejah

  8. Disgusted October 29, 2017 at 1:38 am - Reply

    You know what is upsetting to me, that a handful of women get to get large settlements and the rest of us suffer and are offered empty peanut shells for the same or in some cases worse damage.
    How is this fair?
    Why can’t we all have our day in court?
    This is not justice, this is settling for the sake of ending a heavy court docket.
    Johnson and Johnson should be systematically charged and convicted for their collusion in all of the damages that all of us suffered.
    I rue the day that I signed and agreed to the settlement that was offered to me without getting my day in court.
    I was forced to accept and it is not fair to me or my family who have suffered since 2008!
    I want to start a petition and take the court system to task for forcing people into class action litigation instead of each case being heard on it’s own merit.
    Class action is BS and everyone knows it.
    In the end, a $150, 000.00 settlement gets me the grand total after everyone else gets a piece of the pie, $23,000.00!!
    The lawyer not only takes 40% but also takes an additional $13,000.00 for out of pocket expenses!
    then the insurance company that I pay for, gets to come in and take 25% of the settlement for what they approved for me to have the surgeries.
    Why do I have to give them money back, I pay out of my pocket to have insurance, that is what insurance is for.
    Then more money comes out for resolution fees, shared expense fees, yep ethicon gets to get their piece as well.
    The system is horrible for people who are completely damaged.
    It is a joke.
    I was picked for a trial, I gave a very compelling deposition, my husband gave a compelling deposition, I was questioned by a female attorney representing ethicon that tried to humiliate and accuse me of causing the damages, she went as far back as my first gynecological visit at 16 years old, she turned our sex life into some perverse reasoning for my pain and suffering, accused my husband of violence and physical and verbal abuse, she accused me of intentionally harming myself, said I inserted sex toys inside of myself and that caused damages! yes I went through all of that, supposedly had my court date set and reset and reset again and again, only to be told that my attorney felt it best to settle!!
    While I am content that some women received jury awards and even had to suffer through appeals, at least they had the chance to tell their story, most of the rest of us are force to settle for empty peanut shells.
    Bitter, you are 100% correct, and you can all comment and try to shame me for feeling this way, but what I am saying is the truth and anyone reading this knows it is the truth!
    These women who have had their case in front of a jury aren’t waiting any longer then the rest of us, my case was filed in 2010! They got to be heard. They should be grateful for that.
    I am told I have to sign additional agreements and not try to sue J&J again, I can’t publicly disparage them, I can’t mention the paltry amount I settled for, but I assure you that in the end I will, along with my director/film editor son make a compelling documentary telling my side of the story and what I went through concerning not only the procedure and it’s damaging effects, but also the horrible way in which I was treated and cheated during the process of just trying to be whole again.
    Sorry, not sorry for my rant.
    Non of this is fair.
    j and j along with ethicon are still putting these products on the market.
    Yes, I intentionally did not Capitalize j and j and ethicon, they are not worthy of being considered in that esteem.
    Disgusted and Angry

    • Bejah Blue November 1, 2017 at 9:34 pm - Reply

      You must know dear that this kind of conduct is the way many attorneys operate, trying to destabalize you. It has nothing to do with you really. It has to do with their need to “win” and their capacity to do just about anything to achieve that end. Be glad you are not such a person. Try to not let it hurt you too much. Easier said than done, I know. Consider the source and be glad that you are you. Bejah

  9. Sam K October 31, 2017 at 8:36 am - Reply

    My wife had 2 implants suffered for many years, partial removal was painful and unfortunately cost her her life. Yes JNJ is Totally Responsible deceiving, sinister and criminal. Their day is coming!!!!!

    • Jane Akre October 31, 2017 at 11:36 am - Reply

      I’m very sorry for your loss Sam.

    • Bejah Blue November 1, 2017 at 9:34 pm - Reply

      So sorry Sam, can not imagine the depth of your sorrow. Bejah

    • Ida Adams February 27, 2018 at 7:05 pm - Reply

      Sam I’m so sorry for your loss my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  10. Ida Adams February 27, 2018 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    All of us are in the same situation one way or the other. My nightmare started in 2011 from the mesh and when it eroded and then taken out I like every woman that has to be put through this thinks it’s out Maybe it’s over and then another nightmare begins following is infections, pain and then prolapse. Finding a good physician that doesn’t think you are crazy or drug-seeking has been degrading. Then another product gets put in and then I go through the worst nightmare of my life. After 10 months with excruciating stabbing pain, utis not being able to stand or even utinate for 16 hours at a time. If that wasn’t enough the dr finally goes in and is removing the product and stopping my surgery because it had embedded itself into my left ovary Fallopian tube had turned black from lack of blood flow. All having to be removed to save my life. But that being said the bladder has not been the only thing affected. With all the utis and blood pressure going up from pain. I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic kidney disease. Where Stage 4 consists of dialysis and transplant or renal failure. All this because of s product that these companies wouldn’t allow their daughter sister wife or anyone they love to have put in them to see how it not only tears them apart it tears your whole world upside down. I hope everyone that has had these products and have had continuous infections don’t just worry about the bladder get your kidneys checked. My heart and prayers are with everyone. In my opinion these companies have robbed us all of our lives in more than one way…

Leave A Comment