Anonymous: While I'm Still Speaking Out
Why I do this
One thing that is hurting women is the letter they get from Lawyers telling them to not speak. It is written in a way that the whole world is out to get you and take away your chance of receiving compensation if you say one word. What is wrong with this is that they do not offer any help to find a doctor or support in the form of someone to speak to, to let this out. They are victimized again because it is like when someone you love dies. No one wants to be around you because it makes them uncomfortable, when all you want to do is speak about the person because to you they aren’t really gone.
I’ve been there. The doors close. You don’t have friends when someone gets sick. It’s the same with this.
I spent weeks trying to prove to my doctor it was the mesh. She made me defend myself because she let me know I did not know what I was talking about, even after I sent her articles with proof, she accused me of having these problems before surgery. I couldn’t believe it. I was a victim again and I cried so much. I researched and researched trying to get myself help, hampered with the knowledge that I had put everything down on a surgery that had screwed me up. So finally I searched for a lawyer. They had shut the doors since the lawsuit in 2008. No one cared and my search for a lawyer was out of the indignity that I was told I was a liar and stupid.
I finally found one who called me back.
She is not the lawyer, she is the legal assistant, but she listened to me when I burst into tears and told her that no one cared. That’s all she did and because of that she will have a friend for life. That’s how these women feel about me. They need someone to say it is not in your head. You are a victim of this. There is help to get your life back. I had to find the last part for myself through research and women contacting me and telling me their story.
So now when these women go underground and won’t talk to anyone, I still put up a blog here and there because I know they will research and read, even if they are afraid to speak to me or leave a note. It isn’t right. They need mental support through this.
If someone has a gunshot wound and had to have surgery, people would understand the trauma they will go through. But in our case who cares about the pelvic area. We are JUST women. We’ve given birth so what is the big deal. The big deal is that mesh is stuck to our organs and body parts. It is difficult to remove and you can bleed to death. We have families and lives and we don’t want to die because of something we were not told about. All women know it would be a big deal to have a breast removed, but until this happens to you, you can’t understand that our pelvic and private areas are what defines us as women. Someone destroyed us but you can’t see it on the outside. It makes it worse to know that everyone has and will make money from your misery.
That’s why I do this.